So, you have met this amazing person. You have a true connection. You can’t put your finger on it, but you know there is something special about this connection. What happens most of the time is that you start googling, or someone mentions the term Twin Flames and THEN you start Googling.

And if you start googling and researching the term Twin Flames, you come across a LOT of confusing and contradicting information. A lot of Twin Flame teachers say THEIR vision is THE vision and discredit the other teachers.

And in a way, that makes sense, because this Twin Flame journey is meant so you can start connecting with YOU and with YOUR truth. A Twin Flame connection is, above all the start (or acceleration) of your Spiritual Journey, your ascension journey. It’s about the spiritual journey first and about the relationship second.

So, the topic of Twin Flames is pretty new for a lot of people.
I am going to share a lot more about Twin Flames in the future, but in this blog, I am going to share how to know with certainty if someone is your Twin Flame.

If you haven’t met your twin flame yet, you have the feeling that there is something “missing” from your life. Or better yet, someone.
You notice that you keep looking around for that “other half of you.”
This might all happen unconsciously. A lot of twin flames that are in relationships won’t admit to that because they are afraid of the consequences when they DO admit that something is “off” in their current relationship. This is when you start to energetically start to feel the presence of your Twin Flame, even though this all might happen unconsciously.

I was afraid to admit it for YEARS, that I longed for something “more.”
But I couldn’t ignore “the pull” any longer, so I opened myself up for my Twin Flame (Although I never heard of the term. I just started to align with my “true love.”)

So, if you have met your Twin Flame, a LOT of people get stuck in the question: “Is this my Twin Flame?”

So how do you recognize a Twin Flame relationship?

So, this is the tricky part.
Because if you start searching Google, you come across signs like:

You feel really good around them.
You feel you have known them for longer than this life.
You feel comfortable around them. You have an intense connection.
And so on.
What I read in lists like this, I ALSO felt with my husband and with all my Soulmate friends.

So this is how I like to describe the connection an how you can KNOW.
It DOES take some alignment work to figure it out, but for me, this is THE answer to this question.
And this answer is more applicable to the Feminine. The feminine counterpart doesn’t have to be the woman. It’s the one in the connection with more Feminine energy. Twin Flames can also be same-sex couples, and the energies can be reversed.

The Feminine and the Masculine have a slightly different role in the twin flame dynamic, and they experience it differently. I am going to share more about that in later blogs or videos.
If you are reading this and trying to figure out what kind of connection you have, you are probably a Divine Feminine, the one with the “push” energy and the stronger intuitive connection with spirit.

So, this is what I see as the “signs” that you are in a Twin Flame relationship. It could be that not ALL these signs are what every Twin Flame experiences, but this is what I see happening with most Twins.

When you are together, it feels really special. It’s a love like you have never experienced before.
You feel it’s “meant to be.”
There is a level of mutual respect and understanding. You just “get” each other on a very deep level.
You have the same values, but at the same time, Twin Flames are most of the time polar opposites.
You connect on all levels: spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and sexual.
Most Twins are not describing their Twin as their “dream” men or women. But there is an undeniable attraction that pulls the Twin Flames closer together. You can never really get away from each other.
The sex is amazing and in alignment. There is an amazing sexual chemistry.
It’s like you are in a love bubble, and nothing else exists.

So Twin Flames share the exact same energetic frequency. Twin Flame experts say either they share the same Soul or their Soul is split in two. What it comes down to, is that their Soul has the exact same frequency as your Soul.
Yet, you have a different life experience, and you both have your own Mind (Ego), so you are not the same person. Although the more you get to know yourself and the more you get to know your Twin Flame, you see all the similarities between you two.
Their love feels SO good. It’s magnetic. And in a way it’s addictive for the Ego.

But because you are the exact same frequency, the Twin Flames bring up each other’s deepest wounds and fears too.

And often, they (unconsciously) create a dynamic in their relationship that they can’t be together if they still have a lot of wounds when it comes to love and relationships.
“Something” happens that pulls them apart so the Twins can heal those wounds and Align with the energy of Soul Aligned love.
Sometimes it happens that Twins can work through this together. It depends if it’s in their highest good to use closeness or separation as an ascension tool.
But I haven’t seen a lot of Twin Flames that can work through it without experiencing some kind of tower moment that makes it all collapse.
In the future, this will be different because we evolve as a collective when it comes to relationships, but for most people receiving love and the subject of unconditional love is still a difficult subject.

So, this is the moment most of the Twin Flames become aware that it’s a Twin Flame relationship.

The Feminine most of the time starts trying to figure out what happened and comes across the term Twin Flames.
She wants to know what is going on. Either because the bursting of the “love bubble” is such a weird experience or she just can’t shake the connection.

I guess more and more people, will start meeting their Twin Flame already HAVING this knowledge now that the topic becomes more mainstream. I feel that is the process we are slowly shifting into as a collective. But that is not YET the case.
The more we learn about Soul Aligned love, the easier it becomes to manifest healthy relationships.

This is what I see the Divine Feminine experiences in most Twin Flame connections after separation if they are not yet connected to themselves, their inner-love and God.

There is an extreme obsession for the other person. It’s like you are not yourself. It’s like you are losing yourself. It’s hard to understand because usually, you don’t behave this way. Not like THAT.
There most of the time is a physical pain in one of the Chakras. For example, a pain in your heart chakra that hurts so bad that it feels like you are getting a heart attack.
How hard you try to fight the connection and the obsession; you can’t “just let it go.” If you run away and deny the connection, it hurts, but if you make it all about the other person, it hurts just as bad, so the ONLY solution is to go within and start healing the wounds and finding alignment within yourself.
And most Twin Flames go through a dark night of the Soul to purge old emotions and shift into their power more.

So, a lot of these symptoms (For example the obsession) you also see a lot in abusive relationships or Narcissist/ empath connections.
How you know you are not an empath that is being “played” by a narcissist is this:
Your Twin Flame would never hurt you on purpose.
A Narcissist thrives on the pain they conflict to other people. They “lovebomb” you, promising you the world and then they put you down. They try to “control” you. Some narcissists do this really openly, but there is also a “covert” narcist, and they use really sneaky tactics to do this. They put you down, and they twist it in a way that you think YOU have done something wrong. They break down your self-esteem to keep power over you.
They let you believe you are worth nothing without them.
Because of the intermittent pattern of getting love and the love being taken away, you can get a real obsession for this person and it’s hard to break the connection.

The Twin Flame Dynamic definitely is different.
You can have a LOT of pain from the Twin Flame relationship, but they are not intentionally hurting you, and you feel this. Your Twin Flames really has nothing but love for you. But they mirror you. So if you have wounds, they have wounds too. And if you are looking for love outside of yourself, and by that I mean with your Twin Flame, they are looking for love outside of themselves too and the energetically CAN’T be with you. But it’s NOT because they don’t love you. It’s just the push/pull dynamics of the connection.

When you are in separation, this journey is ALL about YOU! And even if you are together. YOU are still the Creator of YOUR reality.

So, after the so-called “tower-moment,” you probably will do a lot of things to get your Twin Flame back.
You try to talk to them.
You sent them messages.
You try to let them see that you still love him.
And ALL the things you would do with a “normal” relationship.
But the harder you will push, the faster they will run away and maybe even block you.

So this is the moment that you can REALLY see if someone is your Twin Flame.
If you do the healing work.
If you balance your energy.
If you detach.
If you give your Twin Flame his of her freedom.
If you can accept the fact that at THIS moment you have to work on YOU and that they just don’t want to be with you at this moment and you stop expecting that they will ever come back to you and you are 100% ok with that.
If you start living for YOU. If you start connecting with God and with the love inside you.
If you TRULY move on and start aligning with receiving TRUE Soul Aligned love, regardless if it’s with your Twin or not, regardless if you will ever end up in a romantic relationship.

One of two things happen:

1. Either they fall out of your consciousness because they don’t resonate on your frequency anymore. Because you RAISED your frequency.
There is just nothing there anymore.
And you will meet another amazing partner that is a Soul Aligned match for you on all levels: Emotional, Spiritual, Intellectual, and Physical.

Then you will know it was a false Twin Flame.

2. OR the Soul connection stays because it IS your Twin Flame and they will mirror your commitment to loving yourself and they will come back. But because you have done all of your healing, you get to a place of navigating your connection. You are going to build your base of love and your union. You have a deep trust in the Universe that it all happens in the most Divine way.
You now have learned NOT to give away your power to someone else and that only YOU are in control of YOUR happiness, not your Twin Flame.

You CAN’T expect your Twin Flame to show up and “save” you, take away your pain, and make everything better. They are your perfect mirror. They are YOU. And every time you look to them for some kind of “saving” or look at the relationship with expectations or from a place of attachment, they will pull back. They won’t do this on purpose. They are not even aware of it. They will have an excuse or they will be “busy” or maybe have a different relationship.
Until you balance out enough of your fear energies and blocks and then a physical relationship is possible again.

So, that is how it goes for most of the Feminine Twin Flames (Again: not the women, but the Twin Flame with the feminine energy.)
We DO need to change this “story” as a collective. Separation is not NECESSARY. But because most people still operate from old paradigm relationship patterns, this IS what happens a lot of the time.

For the Masculine, it’s slightly different.

Because the Feminine is in her PUSH energy, the Masculine HAS to pull back. He is not conscious of this. It’s just the dynamic of the relationship. 
Most of the time, he will “use” a relationship, family, or a career as a reason that they can’t be together. This will be the absolute truth for him.
He will tell himself that he did the right thing or made the right decision.
Masculines have been taught for centuries that they need to take their “responsibility.”
They have to “provide” for their family or have to focus on their job.
The Masculine will see this from a logical point of view.
He will most likely tell himself that it wouldn’t have worked out anyway. That their Feminine will leave them sooner or later, so this is for the best. That you can’t “just” follow your heart and that they have responsibilities. The Masculine is more “logical” and for him, all the spiritual stuff and the connection without logic is just TOO much and TOO weird. And the more the feminine tries to push this “connection” on to him, the more he pulls back.
Because the Feminine is more connected to her heart, she often feels he is “the one.” The Masculine might not feel it like that, and he might think something like: “If she says I am “the one” THAT quickly and she doesn’t even know me, it’s probably just a fantasy I can’t live up to anyway.” He really experiences the connection differently at this point and if you want to get passed separation, you have to accept this.

Because of the push dynamic of his Feminine, it could even be that he feels “repulsed” by her. So pulling away feels like a relief. He has to feel safe and pulling back gives him a sense of control and safety.
He will go back to his old life and tries to forget all about the connection.
He will probably keep himself busy with work stuff and will tell himself that he made the right decision.

IF the Feminine starts healing and starts pulling back her energy, their energies become balanced again. It’s then that the Masculine can start to become aware that it’s not THAT simple to shake the connection. It’s not a matter of “just” flicking a switch, just like it’s not for you.

In the Healing process, you start to learn that your counterpart is your exact mirror. Truly getting how this works is going to make a HUGE difference in your healing process. But I will write a blog about this later. If you want to receive my blogs in your inbox, sign up for the FREE Ultimate Manifesting Program HERE. 

The Twin Flame relationship is about contributing to the new earth and forming relationships from a place of non-detachment and unconditional love.
Most of the stories I heard the Masculine was in another relationship.
Most of the time these relationships are filled with attachment and expectations.
OR there is no REAL fulfillment for the Masculine on all levels.
And I also heard some stories about manipulative women, often covert Narcissists. A lot of Divine Masculines are empaths, and they just want to do the right thing.
It was a real challenge for those masculines to break old patterns, to see what negative behavior and patterns they were actually feeding in their partner and themselves by staying in the relationship.
In the stories, I heard the Masculines also shared that they had a rough time believing the love was REAL. Most of them had never really experienced true love, and they were afraid to receive it because they were scared it would be taken away from them again.
But I am generalizing and every Masculine will experience this in a different way, just like I am generalizing how the Feminine experiences it. Every journey is different. You really have to go into your heart and feel your OWN truth. You can learn a LOT from Twin Flame teachers, but also they all have their own stories and for them, those stories all feel true. But don’t forget: they are YOU. So whatever your counterpart is doing, on some level you are doing too. If you shift YOUR energy and heal YOUR patterns, they will heal too and make changes.

How do you know how your counterpart REALLY feels in separation? Think of a relationship where YOU pulled back or where you where the runner. How did YOU feel? Do you see that in that relationship the other pushes all their energy on to you? How does that make you react? What are your thoughts and feelings about their push energy? That’s probably how your counterpart is experiencing it. The MOST important thing on this journey is to stop PUSHING. Give them ALL the space they need. Work on your blocks and your connection to God. If they are your Twin Flame, they WILL come back!

You CAN’T go into “rescue-mode.”
This journey is about YOU. He needs to give HIMSELF permission to receive your love. If you are in communication, of course, you can support each other side by side, but you need to work on YOUR life and on balancing YOUR energies and just becoming the best person YOU can be. If you are TRULY Twin Flames, because you have the same Soul, it will shift in him too.
This is the journey of your SOUL and a relationship with him isn’t going to magically solve everything for you. I will share more about this in the free training.

And besides …. don’t judge a book by its cover. Your masculine is JUST mirroring your OWN blocks. If you are going through your healing work and aligning with your God Consciousness you will see sides of them that were always hidden from you, but were really always there. That’s the magic of the Twin Flame Journey. That’s why I LOVE Rumi’s quote:

“The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.”

That’s EXACTLY what it is. You CAN’T find your Twin Flame outside of you. They ARE you. Your Twin Flame is INSIDE of you. Your energy is THEIR energy.

I have seen tons of feminines “waiting” years and years for their Masculine to “choose them.” DON’T let that person be you. This is a SPIRITUAL journey FIRST. It’s a SOUL Journey. It’s about surrendering your EGO self to your Soul. IF you do that, everything will change. If someone is truly your Twin Flame, you WILL end up together. But how and when, is not up to your Ego. You can’t control or manipulate that. You just have to do the work. It will happen once you surrendered your Ego to your Soul. And if you have done that, it doesn’t matter anyway, because you are whole and complete and that’s the whole goal of the journey!

In the end, you have the same Soul, so everything you see in your Twin Flame is somewhere present in YOU. And if you heal and shift it in yourself, you heal and shift it in your Twin Flame.
And if he is not the BEST person for you to be with in the end, there will be an amazing relationship with someone else waiting for you.
I know a lot of feminines can’t believe or see that because of the limiting Twin Flame story that they are your one and only, but that doesn’t have to be true. It only FEELS true because you are still looking for love outside of yourself.

The Masculine is being PULLED back in the Twin Flame connection if your energies are balanced and if you surrendered your Ego to your Soul. IF you are true Twin Flames. You don’t have to DO anything for that. EXCEPT of course work on yourself. But you have to let go of the How and the When. You have to trust God (The Universe, Creation) completely.

And most of all ENJOY! I know the Twin Flame journey can be SO challenging. But it’s also MAGICAL. And the more you will choose love, the more you will see and feel the magic behind your connection.

Do you want more inspiration? Check out my YouTube channel HERE or sign up HERE for my FREE Ultimate Manifesting Course.  You can use my Manifesting techniques to learn what it takes to manifest your Twin Flame back into your life.


Do you have the desire to manifest an amazing relationship with your Twin Flame or Soulmate, sign up for the free training ‘ The Breakthroughs to Manifest your Twin Flame or Soulmate the Easy way.’
You can sign up HERE .

Love, Maartje