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So, this is one of the most important lessons I have ever learned, and I would LOVE to share it with you.
I had to learn this lesson a MILLION times before, and I guess I will need to learn it a couple of times more. But that’s ok.
Just KNOWING how this works, can change a LOT for you.
One of my qualities is that I always see the good in people.
And most of the time that brings me SO much good stuff.
And other times it gets me into trouble.
It’s also what my boss always used to say to me when I was still in my day job: “Maartje, you always see possibilities in people.”
And yes, I do.
I look at people a lot from the place of their Souls perspective.
I can always see their potential.
And maybe you recognize this.
But a lot of the time people aren’t there yet, and maybe they will never get there, and perhaps it’s not even possible for them.
That’s why it’s important to look at people’s BEHAVIOUR when co-creating with them on the physical level.
I learned this lesson from Oprah Winfrey. And she learned it from Maya Angelou. This is the quote that has always stuck with me:
“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.
Remember this because it will happen many times in your life. When people show you who they are the first time believe them. Not the 29th time. When a man doesn’t call you back the first time, when you are mistreated the first time, when someone shows you lack of integrity or dishonesty the first time, know that this will be followed many many other times, that will some point in life come back to haunt or hurt you. Live your life in truth. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. You will survive anything if you live your life from the point of view of truth. — Oprah Winfrey.”
I always say truth is the highest vibration. I also talked about this in module 8 of the FREE Ultimate manifesting program. You can access all the modules HERE.
And when you are entirely truthful with yourself about what you want, desire and about who you ARE and you start honoring that truth, your WHOLE Universe becomes differently.
And I KNOW that can be the most challenging thing there is. Because that probably means you have to let go of things and people that aren’t working for you.
I experienced the same thing with my husband when I decided to separate from him.
There where a couple of things that I really desired when it came to a partner relationship. And we have had discussions about it a LOT of times. I told him what I longed for. And of course, he did his best to change. And then it WAS different for about a day or maybe a couple of days, and then he fell back into his old behavior.
And it was also the other way around. He also wanted things from me that I couldn’t give him. And of course, I also did the best I could to give him these things, but in trying that I felt empty and removed from my true self.
And eventually felt resentment because I felt he was pushing me to be someone I was not. Well, of course, HE didn’t do that, but that is the way I felt at that moment.
Since I have admitted to myself that he will never be THAT person and I am no longer wanting him to be that person a weight has been lifted of my shoulders.
Of course, also admitting to myself that I simply can’t be THAT person for HIM and HE has to find that with someone else, has also really liberated me. And HIM too.
We had some deep and sometimes hard conversations about it. The first two weeks, almost every day. But since about a week, we are at peace with the new situation.
And our relationship has grown into something we are both SO grateful with.
Now we both have the change to connect with people who DO embody all the qualities we have been looking for.
And we can be really happy with what we DO have. We still are best friends, we take care of our daughter and still are doing the business together. And that feels really good.
Another place where I see this happening a LOT is at the workplace.
Employees get their evaluation, and they are encouraged to change a couple of things within themselves to fit the job description better.
They try their best for a couple of days, and then they fall back into their old behavior, and the boss gets frustrated again.
And the employee too, of course.
And when you look at the Law of Attraction, this becomes a slippery slope. Because now you are ONLY focussing on what isn’t there and you are not open to what IS there.
So don’t I then believe that people can change?
I actually DO.
The way people can change is that they become more of THEMSELVES. They become more of who they already ARE.
A lot of the things I wanted from my husband were never there.
But when we first started seeing each other, I was only 22.
I didn’t really know what I wanted in a partner.
I never even THOUGHT about it. I just liked him and was happy I found someone who wanted to be with me.
BECAUSE of the relationship and the stuff I was missing, I figured it out. And then you can ask yourself the question: is this ok for me?
Can I be as happy as I long to be without ever giving myself the change to experience what I TRULY desire?
For me, that answer was no. Maybe for other people, they are ok with it.
The belief for me was that, if I left him I would be alone for the rest of my life. That was the reason I held on to him for so long.
Now I am no longer scared of that.
I am already really happy in my life, and I still desire for that person who embodies all these qualities but he will get there at exactly the right moment, and if he doesn’t, I trust that there is a reason for it.
I also changed a LOT over the last 10 or 20 years. My life is TOTALLY different. But everything that I now AM was already inside me.
I already had the desire to reach my full potential.
I already was this creative person at heart.
I already had big dreams for myself.
I already LOVED to write.
I already longed for deep connections with people and to co-create at the highest level.
ALL I did was remove the blocks that stood between me and the person I already AM (My Divine self), And I am STILL doing that. More and more I am becoming one with my Divine self.
You can never change anyone.
People show you EXACTLY who they are.
You have to either unconditionally love them, EXACTLY as they show themselves to you and you have to let go of your expectations and find a way to be ok with that OR change the conditions of the relationship or let them go entirely.
And if that is difficult for you, you can ask yourself these questions to gain a little bit more perspective. Really write them down. NOT only think about it, that isn’t going to be that powerful.
Answer them without making a decision to leave or stay in the relationship. The objective is ONLY to get insights.
Is this relationship genuinely making you happy? Does it spark joy on every level of your life?
Why are you holding on to this relationship?
What do you think it will bring you to hold on?
Is it possible that you could create that again with other people?
Do you think it’s possible to receive only the BEST in your life?
What is right about the relationship that you are grateful for?
When would you know it is time to let go?
Are you honoring yourself by choosing for this relationship?
How would it be beneficial to the other person if you would let go?
What would you need to change in yourself to attract what you really desire?
What fears or beliefs are holding you back to only co-create with people that make you MORE of what you already are and help you fulfill your fullest potential?
After you answered these questions, make a list of all the qualities you would like your partner, client, friend or team member to have.
Now visualize that person and connect with their energy.
Sit down and let that energy and their hearts fully integrate into your body. Be willing to receive everything they are. ALL of their power and the contribution they can be in your life.
And next, do it the other way around. Let yourself sink in THEIR body, energy field en let them receive YOUR heart.
Don’t stop until you feel your hearts are fully integrated and aligned.
You don’t have to do anything after this. Life shows you precisely what the next steps will be in receiving this energy into your life.
You meet people, stuff comes up, you get to heal that, and more and more space will be opened up to receive the people who are the highest contribution in your life.
Ask help and guidance from your spirit guide to do this exercise and becoming aligned to meeting the right people.
This is a REALLY intense exercise. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. It’s really hard to receive people fully and unconditionally and even harder to give yourself entirely to someone. If at any time during the exercise you get overwhelmed, stop, ask your spirit guides to clear your energy and cut all the cords that bind you. You can always try it again later, when you DO feel ready.
I wish you all amazing and fulfilling relationships!
— Law of Attraction Expert and Business Alignment Coach.
— I help powerful creators, creative entrepreneurs, influencers, coaches, healers, leaders of the new era and everyone who wants to make money just by being themselves to Magically Manifest their life and business.
I teach them to live in accordance with the universal laws of Creation to effortlessly attract more clients, more money, more creativity and above all more freedom, connection to source, flow, fun, ease, and love.
Often they feel they want to do things in their own way and break out of all the boxes society has created for them. Somewhere deep down they feel they are meant for greatness and I help them to discover and express that greatness within them AND make money doing that.
I helped ten thousands of people really understand manifestation and get amazing results. You can get access to my FREE online program: The ULTIMATE Manifesting program HERE.
(PS: Would you rather follow me in Dutch? Dat is ook mogelijk! Vraag HIER mijn Nederlandse cadeau bundel aan met onder andere het geld manifestatie dagboek en de gratis trainingen: “In 10 stappen naar je volgende gelddoorbraak” en “Geld verdienen door jezelf te zijn.”