It was another insightful day when it came to my “Soulmate journey” with LOTS of lessons that I would love to share with you!
But first this: This morning my heart was SO open. I was really touched by all your emails and comments!
It made me see that I can help SO many people with sharing about this process. And you know what? It keeps me sain too while going through it 😉
AND it opened up something else inside of me. One of the things I am always being called to do is to just put my SOUL on the table.
Just share it ALL.
Letting ALL my energy be there.
Letting me express and experience the fullness of who I am.
But there are also times that I hold back. Because I have judgments about what I think and feel and what people might think of me.
I have them now too.
And this is one of the lessons for me here:
1. Letting go of the judgments I have around the fullness of who I am.
I am an intense person. I just AM.
I am always making excuses about this and making myself smaller and denying who I really am and I am just DONE with that.
I am SO SO SO DONE with that.
Did I already say I am DONE with this?
I am not going to dim my light anymore because it triggers other people or they can’t handle it, or they have judgments or fears, or they feel threatened by me or whatever.
I am just NOT.
I just DO a lot.
I create a LOT.
I share a lot.
I move a LOT of energy in myself AND in other people.
And that is just who I AM.
Two and a half years ago something inside me shifted. My energy field really opened up. But I couldn’t handle that. I did everything I could to diminish the amount of energy that I generated.
But last month (around the time my attraction for this man grew so intensely) I made a commitment to myself to let ALL my energy BE there.
And AMAZING things have been happening since.
The coaching sessions I do are deeper then EVER.
The visualizations I do with people are OFF the charts. With the retreat last weekend I did one, and I asked them to come back to the room, and when I opened my eyes, everyone was still in a different Universe haha. I waited a couple of minutes, and they were STILL there haha.
That was the funniest thing EVER.
This is what I feel really strongly:
I need to let ALL my energy, love and creative power BE there.
If he decides to come back to me (or if I meet my “real” Soulmate.) this energy is going to become even BIGGER. And if I can’t handle it the way it is right now, I certainly won’t be able to handle being with him, OR I would just sabotage it again because it would just be too much for me to handle.
I don’t want to do that anymore.
One of the points on my Soulmate list is something like this: “He LOVES how intense I am and how I am ALL IN on life. The more I become myself, the more he loves me” And I need to step into that FULLY myself.
I need to start fully loving and embracing that quality of mine.
What I also had a lot of judgments around, is people experiencing a love story like this. If I had read something like this a couple of years ago, I would have shaken my head. I would have said this means “he is JUST not that into you.”
I would have judged people for being too “needy” or clingy” or dependent. But that is not at ALL how I feel.
I experience this totally differently. I see it as something that helps me to grow tremendously, and I am just UP for the challenge 🙂
I asked for some advice in one of my facebook groups this morning, and everyone has a different opinion about it. And that’s ok because I can take the information from the stories and the people that resonate most with me.
It was AMAZING to call with one of my clients this morning. She experienced the EXACT same thing 15 years ago.
They knew each other just as long.
They went through kind of the same thing.
He also told his partner he would leave her.
She also got really upset.
And my client also got a message the next day that he decided to stay with his family.
But in the end, he couldn’t ignore the call of true love.
Once you experienced true love, you can never really go back.
She took the time to get over him and start living her own life, just like I am doing now. And after a couple of weeks, she was ready to move on, and suddenly he was there. Ready to make a commitment.
And that’s GREAT.
Because either way it doesn’t really matters what HE does.
I am STILL not waiting around for it to happen yes or no.
Because the WHOLE point is being truly happy, and if I can be happy and fulfilled with being by myself, it doesn’t even matter what HE chooses or WHO I will meet.
It’s ALL about what I want for my OWN life.
And that brings me to my second lesson:
2. I need to start living the life we envisioned together by MYSELF.
I LOVED how he loved me more everytime I opened up more. So now it’s time I start loving MYSELF more and more for this quality.
This is ME, showing myself and the world ALL of me.
Baring my Soul.
Putting down ALL the masks.
Creating like I never created before.
Loving like I never loved before.
Receiving like I never received before.
Living like I never lived before.
Another thing that made me really happy was talking about the adventures we were going to have together. So I will just start to create those adventures by myself and with my friends and my daughter. And who knows, eventually with a really special someone. And that’s cool too!
I planned in a couple of really cool things to do.
The next thing I was REALLY excited about when it came to our relationship was how I LOVED to support him in creating his dreams and really fulfilling his Souls purpose because he has an amazing Souls Purpose that is going to help SO many people!
But I can do that ANYWAY. I have LOTS of clients that also have amazing missions and need my support and constant encouragement.
I LOVE being a spaceholder for people.
I LOVE helping them to create the energetic space where they can truly live their Souls purpose.
If he’s not up for that, that’s ok with me. I can still help YOU, and I’ll bet there will be SO many other people who are ready to receive that gift from me.
I made space in my schedule for this week and next week for a couple of Soul Alignment sessions. HERE you can book one.
I’ve put up an amazing discount for you!
And in that way, I keep aligning with my Soulmate list and becoming my OWN Soulmate.
I think that’s the whole point anyway.
So does this mean I no longer “want” him in my life?
Well, actually, I am a little torn about this right now.
One part of me does.
I still feel it’s something special we had together and that it was REAL. At this exact moment, my heart STILL feels this could happen.
And the other part of me is just also already moving on and letting go.
Because what I REALLY need is a couple of things:
I need to focus on my OWN journey.
That way I give him the most space to focus on HIS journey. He needs to figure some stuff out too, and we just can’t do that being together right now.
If he REALLY feels what I am feeling, he’s not going to be able to deny it, just like I am not able to ignore it. But I CAN create with it and learn from it, and that is exactly what I am doing.
And if he DOESN’T feel the same way and he actually succeeds in making a real connection with his girlfriend again, well, that’s cool too, because then he will be out of my energy field and it will become SO much easier for me to move on. And then I will meet my special someone. NOT to make me happy, but because I am just really amazing to be with and such a GREAT added value to someone’s life, JUST as he will be to mine.
And I REALLY NEED him to figure it out on his own.
I still won’t text him or call him. (Believe me, I had my phone in my hand 20 times today, but I am NOT going to do it!)
I want him to REALLY choose ME, if he chooses me. I want him to reach out to ME. And I want him to reach out ONLY if he has made a decision.
Not just for now.
Not so I can give him MORE reassurance that I am ALL IN on this thing.
I can’t do that anymore.
Because right now, I need to spend that energy on myself.
And NOT to help him figure it out. I LOVED talking to him and helping him shift his awareness, but this is something I just can’t do for him. Not because I am not able, but because I already made it SO clear where I stand, and right now I am still here. And maybe tomorrow I am just not.
I really can’t tell right now. I am still figuring it out for myself.
But I DO know that I want it ALL or I want nothing at all. I want someone who REALLY wants to be with me. Because I am just freaking happy with my own life.
A LOT of people wrote me today that I need time to grieve, or cry and relax and stuff.
But I am actually feeling pretty good. I had an amazing, creative day. The ONLY 2 really difficult moments I had was when I woke up in the morning and after I woke up from my post-mediation nap.
BOTH times I woke up with a terrible pain in my body. The pain of never being able to look in his eyes again and see his Soul.
Not being able to hold him, touch him, kiss him and just BE with him.
The pain of not being with him physically, I still feel from time to time.
But it took me only half an hour or something to connect to my OWN Divine energy again and made some space and use what I felt to open up MORE and started creating again.
So that is not that bad.
Most people, when they experience something like this, are crying all day long, are being depressed, yelling, screaming, angry, resentful and whatever. I am NOT feeling those things.
But I don’t want to do that. That is SUCH a waste of my time and precious energy. I just want to KEEP CREATING and working on my Souls Purpose. That IS the most important thing in life.
The ONLY thing I experience now and then is a little bit of sadness. But that’s not that bad.
For the most part, I STILL only feel deep love and gratitude for this experience.
A couple of months ago I asked the Universe if I could learn more about this Soulmate stuff. And the ONLY way to learn about it, is to experience it. So I just see this as an adventure, just like everything in creation is.
So, thank you again for ALL your amazing emails and comments.
I am aware now that a LOT of people are going through this.
In the end, it’s all about being able to open up for receiving the love you have for yourself, and everyone who will enter your life will mirror this love. And maybe…. someday we will just ALL be each other’s Soulmates 😉
Oh and I am ending with this. The Universe really IS supporting me. Even with playing music in my head. These are the lyrics I have heard ALL day long:
“If you can’t wake up in the morning
Cause your bed lies vacant at night
If you’re lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Can’t control it, try as you might
May you find that love that won’t leave you
May you find it by the end of the day
You won’t be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
Something beautiful will come your way.”
And …. in the podcast, I actually SING the lyrics for you 😉
And you know what: Something beautiful is already here.
— Law of Attraction Expert and Business Alignment Coach.
— I help powerful creators, creative entrepreneurs, influencers, coaches, healers, leaders of the new era and everyone who wants to make money just by being themselves to Magically Manifest their life and business.
I teach them to live in accordance with the universal laws of Creation to effortlessly attract more clients, more money, more creativity and above all more freedom, connection to source, flow, fun, ease, and love.
Often they feel they want to do things in their own way and break out of all the boxes society has created for them. Somewhere deep down they feel they are meant for greatness and I help them to discover and express that greatness within them AND make money doing that.
I helped ten thousands of people really understand manifestation and get amazing results. You can get access to my FREE online program: The ULTIMATE Manifesting program HERE.
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