There was someone in my Free Manifest Magically Facebook Group that shared that she started her Mission Business, but was confronted with an overwhelming amount of fear.
She wanted to let the fear go, but couldn’t get past the fear.
(Are you already a member of the group? You can find it HERE)
And it’s time to write a blog about this.
This is SUCH an important topic.
Because we ALL have dreams.
We want to Create and Manifest and experience life to the fullest.
We want to feel fulfilled and connected and just ENJOY life.
And fears can get in the way.
They can feel really overwhelming.
So how can you deal with these fears?
So when talking about fear, the most important thing to know is what fear really IS and where it comes from AND what the steps are you can take to let go of the fears.
I will share it all in this blog.
Most people live from the misunderstanding that they can “overcome” their fears by building a mechanism to not experience the fear or run away from their fears.
They have the false belief that if they build a proper mechanism, the fear doesn’t “bother” them anymore.
Someone has a relationship, and they are not truly happy in this relationship. They feel in their heart that they aren’t supposed to be with this person.
But they are afraid of hurting the other person.
Every time they try to talk about their unhappiness or try to leave the relationship, the other person becomes angry and judgemental.
They accuse them of being selfish and egotistical and only thinking about themselves.
The fear of hurting their partner flares up.
They think: “Maybe we can give it another try. They ARE a good person. And I REALLY don’t want to hurt them.” They start building a mechanism to NOT having to hurt them. They operate from the false premise that if they do their best to try to make their partner happy, that THEY will one day be happy too.
They placate them ALL the time and try to give them everything they need ALL to avoid the fear of hurting them.
But what they are REALLY doing is feeding into their dependence even MORE.
Their partner will never learn to take care of their OWN happiness.
So they need to keep this up the REST OF THEIR LIFE.
They need to be willing to let go of their own happiness and freedom FOREVER (!!!!) to avoid the fear of hurting their partner.
They think one day it will be different, but it won’t. NOT without letting go of the mechanism they are building.
Eventually, what happens is that the SOUL pain they feel of not being in a relationship that is in alignment for THEM will start to consume them.
They THINK about it a lot.
But it seems impossible to think of a solution.
ALL they can focus on is this overwhelming fear of hurting their partner.
And they keep the mechanism of avoiding the fear in place, because that’s ALL they know.
Eventually, this avoidance of self can lead to depression, burn-out, sickness etc.
The solution is NOT in your mind.
Because your fear actually comes from your MIND.
The first step to “dealing with the fear” is seeing that this fear isn’t actually YOU.
Basically, it has nothing to do with YOU.
It’s JUST a pattern that the mind runs.
And it runs because you have focused a LOT of attention on it. The false premise is that by focussing your attention on the fear, you can solve it, but actually, you are keeping it in place.
So who YOU really are is pure awareness, your Soul.
You were YOU before you came in this body and You, as your Soul, will be here, after you leave your body.
You were YOU before these thoughts came into your head and you are still YOU after these thoughts leave your head.
Your thoughts, and therefore your fears are NOT you.
They are JUST a mechanism of the mind.
But because we are so close to our thoughts, we identify with these thoughts.
But our thoughts (and fears) are no more US, then the room you are in.
YOU, as a Soul, are just a temporary inhabitant of your body, just as you are temporary in the room you are in.
You will leave the room.
And you will leave this body and therefore the mind.
So, if you know this, the second step is to stop identifying with your thoughts and your fears.
It’s JUST a pattern that is running in the mind of the Human part of you. That’s all.
It’s NOT you.
It feels so strong and overwhelming because you focused a LOT of energy on it, and you identified with it and because of that it has a really big PULL on your awareness, but it’s NOT you! So now it’s time to reverse the pattern and stop giving in to the pull.
The next step is to start observing the fears and labeling the pattern.
The relationship situation as above, you can label as: “The My partner is more important than me-pattern.” For example.
If you have any feelings around the fears, just feel them. Emotions are energy in motion; it just has to come out and will help you to shift and let go.
But don’t IDENTIFY with the feelings.
They are not you; they are just a build-up of energy that needs to be released. That’s it.
Every time the pattern comes back, you just say: “Ah, there is the ‘My partner is more important than me-pattern’ again.
Yep, there you are.
If you labeled the pattern, the next step is to accept it.
Can you JUST observe the fear and the pattern, without judging it or wanting it to change? JUST accept it!
It has nothing to do with YOU, the REAL YOU! Your Soul.
You have co-created this pattern, and now you can uncreate it. But NOT by focussing on it and identifying with it and believing in the fear.
Once you accepted it, you can ask yourself. Is that really something I want to choose for my Human self?
You (as a soul) are CO-CREATING your Human self.
You ARE not your Human self.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
Have you seen the Tony Robbins Netflix Documentary? The interviewer asks Tony Robbins: “Who is Tony Robbins?” And Tony says: “Who IS Tony Robbins? I created this Mother F*ucker.”
That’s ALL it is: You are co-creating your human self.
If you ask the question, “How do I want to feel? What story DO I want to tell myself?” DON’T think about the reason you have this fear.
Because of course, you don’t want to be unhappy. But you are keeping yourself here because you have false beliefs about what the consequence is of choosing happiness.
That’s why you are holding onto the mechanism. You think that if you hold on to it long enough, it will erase the fears.
But it won’t and it never will.
BUT, everything you are scared of is also NOT going to happen. NOT in a way you think it’s going to happen. And it also won’t HURT you.
Because once you stop identifying with your mind and your human self, your WHOLE reality changes!
To stay with the fear of hurting the person you “love.” (It’s not love, it’s really not, but I know we call it this way.)
You placate them because you have a LOT of false beliefs. For example:
“They can’t live without me.”
“They have done SO much for me, I can’t just abandon them.”
“Somewhere down inside they are a good person, I know this will get better one day.”
“If I leave them, they will hurt themselves, or me or take away the children.”
You want to hold on to the fear because you are afraid these things will happen. And by making a different choice you think that’s the consequence you have to deal with.
But it’s not true.
It’s STILL all your mind.
YOU are pure awareness, and you CREATE your reality, WITH these beliefs.
As long as you keep holding on to these beliefs, they will create something in your reality.
You DON’T have to change ANYTHING in the outside world. ALL you have to do is change the beliefs and change the energy and watch what happens. Things will automatically shift. The Universe will just take care of it. ALL you have to do is the inner work. NOTHING MORE!
You can change your WHOLE reality and never even have to have ONE conversation with a single human being. It’s probably not a Soul desire, but it’s possible.
I am talking a LOT less to people these days and creating 10 times more!
And maybe your Ego is feeling resistance now. Maybe it doesn’t understand it. Maybe it’s mad at me for not taking it seriously. I get it. That’s what the Ego does. Been there, done that bought the t-shirt.
Do you want to be FREE or do you want to be RIGHT? 😉 The Ego is mad because it is scared. Talking to it friendly and promising it you will look after it will help.
So yes, you can let go of the fears, but not with staying stuck in your mechanism.
This is how to do it:
If you have identified the pattern, you can ask yourself: How do I want to feel instead?
And you can say:
I want to feel free and loved.
I want to feel safe.
I want to feel understood.
I want to feel equal like we are lifting each other up and cherish each other.
And so on.
REALLY tune in to this feeling! Write it down. Over and over and over again.
Visualise, meditatie etc until it becomes REAL.
From this different feeling place, you can start to tell yourself a different story and adopt different beliefs. My Free alignment journal helps you to do that. You get it if you sign up for the Ultimate Manifesting Formula.
And you align with that feeling, and you let go of the beliefs that are contradictory to what you WANT to create.
NOT because of the FEAR.
NOT because you are in resistance, because you are already in acceptance. If you feel resistance, go back to the step of finding acceptance.
You make a different choice because you CAN.
Because you are just CREATING yourself and it doesn’t mean ANYTHING.
And if you can choose between fear and love, why NOT choosing love?
YOU are not happier once the fears are gone or once you reach this goal or that achievement, because YOU are already WHOLE and complete.
YOU are PURE AWARENESS.
YOU are the one who is OBSERVING (and co-creating) everything, INCLUDING your fears and your thoughts.
YOU are the one who is shifting the beliefs of your human self so more and more of the pure energy of your SOUL can shine though your human self.
And from here, you try to be the conscious observer and co-creating but NOT the one who is HAVING the fears or BEING the fear or even BELIEVING the fear is even TRUE.
You repeat this step by step process as often as you need:
1. Become aware of what you REALLY are (Pure awareness, Your Soul)
2. Become aware of the fear.
3. Label the fear, don’t identify with it.
4. Feel the feelings, if there are emotions, but don’t identify with it.
5. Accept it, become the observer of it.
6. Ask yourself: How DO I want to feel? What is the story I DO want to tell myself? Align with that as often as you can. (Use the Alignment Journal!)
7. Let go of the beliefs. Let go, let go, let go. Let go as often as needed.
YOU are already free.
It’s ALL about starting to see and feel that and make a CONSCIOUS decision that NO thought or belief or fear is WORTH holding on to to diminish your freedom.
And THAT’S the most important thing: IS ANYTHING OR ANYONE WORTH GIVING UP YOUR PERSONAL FREEDOM?
REALLY ask yourself that question!
THEY WILL NEVER SET YOU FREE. ONLY YOU CAN SET YOU FREE.
If you let go of the beliefs, if you just set the beliefs free, something magical will happen. Things start to FLOW more.
Things start to HAPPEN.
You CREATE more.
You start to co-create with amazing people who are also making the shift from Ego energy to Soul energy.
And those are AMAZING people. Because they don’t blame you, they take 100% responsibility for shifting the thoughts and feelings they become aware of, JUST like YOU!
You let go of the mind.
You go beyond thought.
It’s peaceful and calm.
And then you add the 8th step:
8. Wait for a definite lead. Take inspired action and trust Life (Creation, God, the Universe.)
You don’t take action from a place of still feeling the fear.
You are NOT talking to your partner.
ALL you do is finding alignment and practicing the steps.
And when you are in alignment, things will just start to happen.
SUDDENLY you are having a conversation, and it just flows.
Your partner wants to leave YOU.
Or however it happens.
And every time you are being “in the physical” and experiencing thoughts or fears. PULL back your attention. STOP taking action.
STOP talking to people, Stop complaining. Stop affirming your fears.
JUST WALK AWAY from the situation.
LET GO LET GO LET GO.
Go back to the 8 steps and find alignment again.
If you are in alignment, the definite lead and the inspired action will come again.
Life (Creation, God, the Universe) just takes care of everything. You slip into a deep trust that the Universe will take care of you. Because it DOES if you allow it to.
Your EGO can’t do ANY of these things. It wasn’t designed to do that.
So stop giving it that task of keeping YOU safe.
YOU are already safe.
Because YOU are an eternal spiritual being, who is CO-Creating this reality from a place of love, joy and surrender.
Can you feel the difference?
Write down this step by step plan and practice it over and over and over again!
If this blog inspires you, please share it so more people can shift from fear to love!
PS: If you want to get coaching around the topic of Creating your Ultimate Reality, My Manifest Magically Academy is THE place to be.
You get a TON of powerful content, deep healings and weekly coaching.